Lost Of This World
by Socket-52
Summary: She thought spending eternity trying to unravel the mystery of aging and human biology justified her need… her desire to feed the hunger. (Sarah/Miriam)
1. Chapter 1

**Another Sunrise (Pt 1)**

Miriam hated this part. It was difficult to see them so weak, so distressed.

Sarah was soaked with sweat, her young body convulsed with shakes, but her hearing was now acute. She could hear Miriam moving, could sense her closeness, but the hunger made it difficult to concentrate; her eyesight was misty, an internal fog blocked her ability to function.

Miriam lies on the bed beside Sarah. She gently places her hand against Sarah's forehead. She is ice cold. Miriam knew she would have to feed Sarah soon. But she wanted a few moments more.

"You're part of me now," she whispers into Sarah's ear.

Sarah felt it. Felt she no longer belonged to herself. No longer belonged anywhere; except with Miriam. She understood now. Realised the reason for Miriam's isolation, to keep away from humans and the temptation of the hunger. She knew she was becoming the same, and soon, they would only have each other.

* * *

When she feeds on Tom, when she feels her stomach fill, feels her veins pump with life, her senses heighten. Her repulsion at the act of feeding begins to fade: it's over, for another seven days, she doesn't have to think about it: suppresses the knowledge, the guilt. And Tom would have done the same, if their roles had been reversed, he was heartless like that.

When she comes downstairs, blood staining her pale skin, Miriam gives an odd smile. Like pride in her protégé and Sarah wants to please her lover, but killing doesn't sit well with her.

She looks into Miriam's eyes. Miriam hands her a glass of Sherry, and Sarah always hated sherry, but she's getting used to it. She thinks there are many things she can get used to.

"You will sleep six hours in every twenty-four," Miriam tells her, then leans over and kisses Sarah's lips gently. Sarah knows she has made the right decision, knows she will eventually pay a price, but Miriam is worth the sacrifice.

* * *

Miriam leads Sarah to the lounge, lay her down and covered her with a blanket. The sleep would soon be upon her. Sarah looked up at the blonde Venus with such faith, Miriam stroked Sarah's cheek, and the redhead closed her eyes and fell into a deep slumber.

Now was the time Miriam disposed of Tom's body. She went into their bedroom, lifted his remains and carried them to the basement; she lit the furnace and detachedly threw his remnants in. She watched the flames engulf the evidence that could part Sarah from her. Then she cleared up the blood Sarah had spilt in the kill, pulled the bloodstained sheets from the bed and burnt them. Then she cleaned the room, scrubbed the floor, washed and polished every surface with disinfectant until it was sparkling. It would be easier for Sarah this way, when she awoke it would be as if it had never happened and it would be easier for her to adapt to this new life.

Miriam was glad for Tom's removal – he had been the only thing really tying Sarah to her former life. Everything else was expendable; Tom had given her cause for worry. She didn't know how attached to him Sarah was. Now she knew she had Sarah, that the scientist had made a clear choice, that by killing Tom she had accepted the life Miriam was offering. Now Tom was gone, they could really begin.

When the bedroom was cleared of all evidence, Miriam returned to Sarah, lifted her up effortlessly and carried her upstairs. She gently placed her on the bed, then laid beside her, studying her face, the curve of her lips, the tilt of her nose, the texture of her hair, the smoothness of her skin. Miriam smiled, even asleep, Sarah's strength of character was striking – her determined chin, her lips pressed resolutely, her stubborn brow. Miriam placed a kiss on Sarah's forehead. She wanted this one with her always, knew she would never tire of Sarah, that she was all Miriam needed in an eternal companion.

Six hours after falling asleep, Sarah awoke to a new consciousness. Nothing was the same; the world was a busy place, she heard everything, felt everything… it was all too much, too over-powering – but she felt the urge to seek more, to understand Miriam's world so that she could stay, so that she could be of use to Miriam, so that she could appreciate it for herself.

Miriam walked into the room soon after the redhead awoke. She held out her hand to Sarah, who stood obediently and moved towards Miriam, their fingers laced together and Miriam led Sarah into the bathroom. She turned the shower on and slipped the bloodstained t-shirt up and over Sarah's head. Sarah stepped into the shower and watched as Miriam undressed and neatly folded her clothes and then joined her.

The water sprayed between them, droplets fell from Sarah's skin. Miriam reached past Sarah and pulled a flannel from the shower rail. She lathered it in soap and slipped her left hand behind Sarah's neck and with her right hand wiped the blood from Sarah's neck. Then, in small circles she moved down Sarah's body, across her chest, over her breasts, across her abdomen. As Miriam's hand was about to reach below her hipbone, Sarah grabbed Miriam's hand and gazed into her blue-grey eyes. Miriam paused, then leant forward and licked a speck of blood at the corner of Sarah's mouth, then used her tongue to trace Sarah's lips. Sarah's lips drew apart and Miriam kissed her. Sarah released Miriam's hand and drew the older woman to her. Their bodies pressed together, sleek with soap and water, and Sarah knew she'd never been loved this completely before.

* * *

The police call at Sutton Place. Tom has been missing for three days and Sarah tells them that she doesn't know where he was, she says she hasn't seen him, that he was probably off somewhere sulking because she had decided to leave him and because they had lost the budget appropriation at Riverside. The police seemed convinced enough and when they were gone, Miriam assured her there was no evidence linking Sarah to Tom's disappearance.

* * *

Some days, Sarah was more restless than others; she didn't want to spend any time away from Miriam, but she was a creature of habit and she was used to being fully committed to her work. Miriam didn't trust this restlessness, so they discuss the possibilities and decided that Sarah should continue her life's work.

Sarah returned to Riverside to collect her research. Phyllis and Charlie are in the lab when she returns, but pay her little attention because they're preoccupied with Tom's disappearance - they seem convinced that he's taken the budget to heart – that he may have done something… foolish.

Sarah tries to hide her disdain, how did she live among such fools for so long? She suddenly feels grateful to Miriam for taking her away from human frailty. She collects her notes and what she can't carry she puts in boxes and orders them to be sent to Sutton Place.

Even with her work around her, Sarah felt distracted by her surroundings, so Miriam had John's study transformed into a Gerontology lab. This gave Sarah the isolation she needed and she found she could concentrate again. She thought, if anything, spending eternity trying to unravel the mystery of aging and human biology justified her need… her desire to feed the hunger. She had a purpose – a goal.

Sarah has never asked where Miriam gets her money from; she just accepted it when Miriam had the study turned into a Gerontology lab for her. Any extra facilities she needed, she could use her contacts at Riverside, and Miriam insisted cost was not an issue and Sarah had her own savings – she like retaining some stem of independence and Miriam didn't seem threatened by it.

Sarah used her own blood in experiments; studying the connection between erythrocytes, blood cells and sleep. She knew that Methuselah, the rhesus ape she had been experimenting on prior to… Miriam had the same colour erythrocytes as she when he was in his terminal phase. The colour of his deepened right before the end, the same purple pigmentation factor and misshape was present in her blood, but after the Sleep, the pigmentation of Sarah's blood cells faded to a healthy pink-white. If she could figure out how the Sleep effect blood cells, she could work on producing this effect in humans… could figure out the secret to eternal life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Longevity**

She glided along the street, slipping in and out of the shadows, avoiding detection from all but Miriam's eyes. This was her first hunt: she's still training. She felt Miriam close by, watching. Ready to help if it was required. But Sarah was confident; she had already killed; that had been the difficult part: the loss of her humanity. Now it was gone and she could steel herself for a hunt, enjoy the feel of adrenalin in her veins, the excitement in her chest and knowing the heaviness in her head brought on by the hunger would soon abate.

She climbed up onto the balcony, silently drawing back the open door and snuck into the house. She could smell them; hear the blood, fresh and hot in their veins. Her tongue tingled. She was so thirsty, her throat soar for the relief of blood…

She stepped into the main bedroom, a middle-aged man slept alone. Sarah approached, coiled, she touched the ankh from around her neck and released the small dagger it hid, and then pounced. She straddled him, held his head back with her left hand an slit his throat with her right. She fed quickly, greedily. Full, she withdrew from his lifeless body and wiped her mouth clean with the back of her hand. Her senses were heightened, the world seemed brighter, more alive and she felt everything move. Felt Miriam's pull, so she left.

When she returned to the house, Miriam was waiting for her. Kissed her tenderly, she was pleased; Sarah could read it in her eyes. She still had much to learn about Miriam, but she was a fast study. Miriam led her upstairs, to their bed. The sleep was coming; like the hunger, it must be respected, must be obeyed.

Sarah's eyes closed as soon as her body touched the mattress. She felt strangely aware of Miriam close to her. Felt herself swimming in happiness. As long as she had Miriam, she could block out the harshness of what they had to do in order to survive. Somewhere in her head, she reasons that it's natural – survival of the fittest and she and Miriam were the fittest.

* * *

They spend their days learning the curves of each other's body, the trails of their minds; where they met and where they took separate routes.

She knew, unlike all of Miriam's previous partners, that life was eternally hers; but that her youth would only last a few centuries, then it would catch-up with her. She and Miriam don't talk about it. It's one of those unspoken understandings between them. It's tenuous. Sarah can still get angry at Miriam for bringing her to this savage lifestyle, and Miriam can still be hurt when reminded of her betrayals to her previous beloved's, whose restless coffins lie in the attic, still, but breathing.

Sarah locks her brain into research, her body is devoted to Miriam, and sometimes, between kisses and caresses, she finds herself staring into those cool eyes that disguise Miriam's passion and asks her to play her body like she does Lakme. Miriam smiles strangely, she's never expectant of Sarah because she never knows what to expect. The scientist keeps her sharp and she likes it. Feels like she has an equal, not a devout servant.

Miriam spends her days watching Sarah. She has put more effort into Sarah than any other living creature, human or her own species. She'd known from the start that it would be worth her while, but nothing had prepared her for this. Tranquillity at last, a feeling of serenity, she had never experienced it before. She felt she could trust Sarah to be her saviour. She felt her search was over, she had found home.

When Sarah was in her arms, when she whispered 'I love you,' in the heat of sex, it was the first time she meant it. And she realised that all the times she had said it before, she was just miming. Imitating. But she means it now, for the temperamental redhead. For the cool intelligence and sensual openness of Sarah. For her alone. And she realises how pitifully empty her life was before. How desperation had driven her to be reckless in acquiring Sarah, and how, auspiciously, it had paid off.

She did all she could to ensure Sarah could continue her life's work – she wanted Sarah with her forever, she didn't want to see her love counting the hours and days until her inevitable demise. Didn't want to see Sarah resorted to a feeble copy of John. She couldn't bare to see the brightness of Sarah fade. Couldn't live if that happened.

She took coffee to Sarah. The redhead didn't drink it, the hunger had killed any appetite she'd had for anything other than blood. But she liked the smell; it comforted her, gave her a sense of familiarity. After all, her life with Miriam, whilst feeling natural, was still new and unknown. She liked touches of her former life. Miriam humoured her, it made her love her more.

Sometimes Miriam didn't understand Sarah's continuing need to stay connected to the outside world – to humans. But she wanted Sarah's research to help them; to give Sarah to her forever, so she always encouraged the scientists' work. Sometimes it was lonely sharing Sarah with her work, but she knew it had to be done and it made the time they were together more significant.

One evening, they sat together at the piano. Miriam's fingers floating across the keys. Sarah, eyes closed, let the notes bathe over her.

"If it happens to me – rapid acceleration of age – promise me you'll kill me," Sarah says.

Miriam stops playing, eyes overcast. "You belong to me, and I to you. I'll kill myself before I harm you," Miriam vows.

Sarah takes her lovers hands. "Promise me. Don't pack me away like the others – don't forget me, don't let me be locked away, alone and forgotten till the end of time - "

Miriam pulls away, she stands, slamming the lid of the piano. "Is that what you think of me? That I'm some heartless monster who gets what use she can out of humans, then locks them away in isolated misery?"

Sarah shakes her head, mortified. "I could never think that of you."

Miriam's clear gaze softens. "You'll make it Sarah, I can feel it. This time it's different… you're different." She sits beside Sarah, touches her cheek and runs a finger along her jaw.

"I'm on the verge of a break-through, but I just wanted to make sure you understood. If I don't figure out… if I can't stop it from happening to me… I want you to understand what I want."

Miriam nods solemnly.

"I want an end," Sarah explains.

Tears escape Miriam's eyes.

Sarah raises her hand to cover Miriam's and presses her cheek into Miriam's palm. "Do you understand?"

Miriam nods.

They gaze at each other, then Miriam says confidently. "But you will figure it out Sarah, my Sarah. I have every confidence."

Sarah smiles, Miriam leans forward and places a soft kiss on her lips. Then draws back. Their eyes stay fixed on each other. Sarah slips her hands down Miriam's forearms, to her elbows, then pulls her into a fervent kiss. She feels the blonde soften, feels fingers in her hair, gently tugging. Miriam moves her hand slowly down Sarah's body, coming to rest between her thighs. Sarah shudders, gasping at the sensation; Miriam's touch always surprises her, always excites her.

* * *

"I need to bring someone to the house," Sarah tells the blond.

Alert, Miriam asks. "Why?"

"There are files I need – data. But after they refused my application for a funding review, they sealed certain records. Records I need to get hold of, but my authority is limited now. I need someone on the inside… someone to help me."

Miriam nods. "Who did you have in mind?"

Sarah smiles. "There was an expert in the Gerontology department I've heard of. I think she's the right choice."

"Very well," Miriam says, then leans forward and kisses Sarah. "Just keep her far from me."

Sarah grins. "Okay," then slips her arm happily around Miriam's neck and covers her in kisses.

Miriam laughs at Sarah's playfulness, until she felt Sarah's hands slip down her back and rest on her hunches, pulling the blonde's body tightly to hers. Hip to hip, Sarah gazed into Miriam's eyes.

"I'll have to think of a way to thank you," she says seductively, her silliness overtaken by a solemness.

Miriam tilted her head, leaning teasingly close to Sarah. "I'm sure you'll think of something… fitting," she says, feeling Sarah's body responding.

"Mmm – I'm sure I will," Sarah leans forward, capturing Miriam's bottom lip between her teeth and pressing hard, then releasing it. Miriam raises her hands to Sarah's back and digs her fingers into the supple flesh. Sarah holds back a gasp of pain. She kisses Miriam, forcing the blondes arms down and then behind her back. The sway towards the bed. Miriam pulls back and stares passionately into Sarah's face. She lets Sarah take control.

Isabella Ely has been a close follower of Sarah Roberts work. She had admired the ambitious scientist from a distance - they had never met, but knew of each other by reputation. So when she receives a written invitation from Sarah, asking her to visit her at home, Isabella's curiosity is immediately peeked. Sarah has become something of an enigma – rumours about her sudden departure from Riverside and the Gerontology field were wild – she had killed Tom, or driven him to suicide, she was now living with a woman and had constructed a lab where she conducted shady experiments.

Isabella doesn't believe any of it, but, always one for a challenge, Isabella decided that Ms Roberts was more than worthy of a visit. She just wondered what Sarah could possibly want from her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Whitley Strieber's novel The Hunger and the MGM/UA film adaptation (Except Isabella Ely – she's mine, all mine!).

 **New Blood (Pt 3)**

She arrived at _Sutton Place_ five minutes early. She felt a strange unsettling feeling of foreboding as she stepped out of the cab and walked up to the front door. The house seemed unnaturally still; as if the air itself had stopped. She presses the doorbell and notices the security camera. She smiles, and then feels stupid, knowing she could be seen.

"Who is it?" a low voice, thick with a French accent, asks through the comm.

"Isabella Ely. I'm here to see Sarah Roberts," Isabella states hurriedly.

A buzzing noise sounds and the front door opens. Miriam stood in the doorway. Her elegant beauty struck Isabella. "You must be Mrs. Blaylock?"

"She's expecting you," Miriam says reservedly and steps aside to let Isabella in.

Cautiously, Isabella stepped into the spacious corridor. Miriam closes the door and begins to walk down the corridor. Not looking at their visitor, she says coolly. "This way."

Isabella had the distinct impression that Mrs. Blaylock didn't appreciate her presence. She followed Miriam along the corridor, down some stairs and along another corridor. They stop outside a brown door and Miriam pushes it open.

Sarah was sat at a workbench, drawing a blood component out of a test tube with a pipette. She looks up on their arrival.

" must be Dr. Ely," Sarah greets, returning the test tube to the rack, she stands and extends her hand.

Isabella shakes it, surprised at the coolness of Sarah's skin.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you," Isabella says.

They exchange a curteous smile and then Sarah turns to Miriam as she feels the familiar Touch of Miriam's mind.

Isabella notices that the pair seem to be having an unspoken conversation, it makes her feel odd, as if they were talking about her.

Abruptly, Miriam says. "I'll leave you to it," and exits.

Alone, Isabella moved towards Sarah, who began preparing a white blood cell slide and fixes it on the microscopes receiving tray. When she finishes, she looks expectantly at Isabella. "I apologise for all this covertness, but this is a delicate matter. As you know, Dr. Ely, I was working on a project in the Gerontology department at Riverside," she pauses. "I'm remarkably close – tantalizingly close to a break-through."

"In?" Isabella presses.

"Immortality."

Isabella sits down numbly in the nearest seat. "What?"

Sarah's eyes were lit from within as she excitedly explains. "In my lab at Riverside we were able to speed-up the internal clock of a rhesus ape – so we concluded that if age can be speeded-up, it can also be slowed down. Then, we had a human case… and we discovered that it's possible for humans to remain youthful for up to two centuries."

Isabella stares at Sarah.

"But I need your help – another pair of hands to make the research go faster and someone with access to Riverside's sealed records."

"So you chose me?" Isabella concluded.

Sarah nods eagerly.

"What's that?" Isabella asks, pointing to the slide on the microscope beside Sarah.

Sarah smiles, she indicates for Isabella to take a look. Isabella stands and moves closer to the redhead, then peers into the microscope at the white blood cell slide and Sarah contains a smirk when Isabella gasps.

She looked at Sarah, startled. "How is that possible?" she exclaims.

"I took a sample of blood from a thirty-something Caucasian woman and mixed it with foreign leukoytes – a eosinophile-like cell."

"But the Pseudopodial activity is high – the cell is thriving."

Sarah nods, feeling very smug.

"Where did you get the eosinophile-like cell?" Isabella asks: her tone is filled with awe, curiosity and confusion.

Sarah smiles; the eosinophile-like cell came from her own blood, from Miriam. "First I need an answer – are you going to help me?"

Isabella doesn't hesitate. "Yes."

* * *

If it had been for any other purpose, Miriam was sure she would have killed Dr. Ely by now. For monopolizing all of Sarah's free time and for sharing Sarah's understanding of scientific jargon. Miriam is intelligent and picks-up the general points of their conversation, but she isn't a scientist and so she can't join in all their discussions about research and results.

When Sarah works in the lab, locked away, Miriam plays Corelli and Abaco; Sarah hears the music in her head: Miriam often plays for her.

In bed, Sarah whispers the results over her body, making love and assuring Miriam that they were close to an answer, close to human immortality, closer to her staying with Miriam eternally.

In the daytime, Miriam lets them alone; she takes them the occasional snack and watches Sarah pretend to eat in front of Dr. Ely. But Isabella is so excited by their work that she doesn't notice the small things. Miriam finds this amusing - humans, they're so arrogant, so selfish… she wonders if Dr. Ely would be putting in all this effort if she knew the truth about Sarah and herself. If she knew where the 'foreign leukoytes' came from, would she be so eager to continue the job?

They work continuously, side-by-side, Miriam watches them. She doesn't like the little signs of familiarity growing between them. Finishing each other's sentences. The touch of an elbow to indicate the other should look into the microscope. A nod to indicate results are ready, a jester to indicate another experiment is needed.

Miriam senses the affection in Sarah towards Dr. Ely, but she has no fear; Sarah is dedicated to Miriam and Miriam alone. She feels it. Sarah tells her, using the Touch, when she's not there. Lets her know she's doing this for Miriam, to be with Miriam.

Dr. Ely is more of a concern. Miriam knows that Dr. Ely doesn't trust her. Even after four months. This doesn't bother Miriam; she trusts Sarah's judgement and if Sarah says Dr. Ely can be depended on, then she believes her.

* * *

Isabella has been so wrapt up in the work, so blown away by the progress Sarah has made and its implications that she had readily agreed to all of Sarah's requests, including breaking into the Riverside vault and stealing sealed records. She wasn't proud of her actions, but it had to be done.

She's aware that if she's caught, her career will be over, but if she had refused to steal the records – Sarah would have taken it as an act of treachery and refused to let her continue to work on this project – the most exciting and fulfilling project of her life… and then there was also this strange feeling that she gets around Sarah… a craving, and it's insatiable… it keeps intensifying whenever they're close, it's consuming her greedily, and she wants to be consumed. Wants to know everything there is to know about Sarah Roberts.


End file.
